.:I get it now:.

I now understand why women are so baby hungry once their little ones start to grow. I'm still in the newborn phase and I'm already amazed at how he is getting bigger! I am excited for him to learn and grow but I just love this newborn stage. He is just so precious. It is hard for me to put him down sometimes. I could just sit with him in my arms and stare. He is sleeping right now and instead of blogging I'd rather just watch him.

On another note it is good I love him so much and think he is so adorable... cause being a new mom is ROUGH! There are so many things to learn. Many of them seem like the simplest thing, but I still can't master it. Seriously, how in the world do I take care of my child AND take care of my home? haha. I haven't mastered that yet. I can usually find time to load the dishwasher or a load of laundry. Then it just sits because something came up with the baby. Max is in love with being in Mommy's arms. Some days he is really good about sleeping. Other days... not so much. I put him down and he screams.

One of the roughest things for Max and I has been breastfeeding. Unfortunately we did not get it.. him and I. Due to the long drawn out labor I had I was extremely exhausted after the c-section and I passed out almost immediately after meeting my little guy. I did get a chance to try to put him to breast once before falling asleep with no success. So they gave Max bottles in the nursery the first 24 hours of my recovery. So began the struggle with Max to try and go back to breast. We have had no such luck. I've tried everything lactation specialist, calling La Leche, nipple shields, and any other thing that was suggested to me. Max loves the ease of the bottle. Who wouldn't right? So for now I am still pumping and bottle feeding him. That isn't going to work for much longer because I am not pumping enough out to keep my milk supply up. So... Max is going to be a formula baby. I'll continue to give him the breast milk I do have until it drys up.

At first I was really depressed and just upset. I was so sure I'd be a breastfeeding mother. I really wanted that for my child. I was mad that the hospital gives bottles and pacifiers knowing the mother would like to breastfeed. But we have a healthy baby boy and I've done everything I can think of to get him to latch. I feel better knowing that at least I tried. I think the most important part is for Max to have a healthy happy mommy and the stress I've had over breastfeeding hasn't been healthy or happy for either one of us. It's time to move on.

Here are some more pictures of my adorable little guy!

Day 26


Day 25